Booking a first counselling session is often harder than the session itself. There's a particular kind of nervousness that comes with doing something unfamiliar, not knowing what you'll be asked, what you'll say, or whether you'll somehow get it wrong. If that's where you are right now, it might help to know exactly what actually happens, so the unknown parts of it feel a little smaller.
Before you arrive
You don't need to prepare anything. There's no test to pass and no right way to walk in. Whether we're meeting online or in person, the practical side is simple: you'll get clear details beforehand about time, location or video link, and what to do if something changes. If you're coming in person, you don't need to arrive early or bring anything with you beyond yourself.
It's worth knowing that a first session is different in feel from the ones that follow. It's less about diving straight into everything and more about the two of us getting a sense of each other and what you're hoping for.
What actually happens in the room
We'll start with introductions and a bit of housekeeping, confidentiality, how sessions work, what happens if you need to cancel, that kind of thing. As a BACP registered counsellor, I work within a clear ethical framework, and I'll explain what confidentiality means in practice, including the rare situations where it has limits, such as a risk to your safety or someone else's.
After that, the session is mostly about you talking and me listening. I might ask what's brought you to counselling now, what's been going on, and what you're hoping might be different. You don't need a polished answer. Plenty of people arrive not entirely sure how to explain what they're feeling, and that's a completely normal place to start from. Part of my job in that first session is simply to help you find the words, not to expect you to have them ready.
You're also welcome to ask me questions. How I work, what a typical session looks like, anything about my approach. This is as much your chance to see whether it feels right to work together as it is mine.
If you genuinely don't know what to say, that's fine too. Silence in a first session isn't something to fill quickly or apologise for. Sometimes the most useful thing that happens in an early session is simply sitting with something difficult for a moment, without rushing to explain it away. I work person-centred, which in practice means following your pace rather than mine, and trusting that you know your own experience better than I do.
What it isn't
A first session isn't an assessment you can pass or fail, and it isn't going to end with a list of things you're doing wrong. Nobody is diagnosing you within an hour, and nobody expects you to have your whole story neatly organised. It also isn't a session where you'll be told what to do. Counselling works best as a space where you're supported to find your own way through something, not handed instructions for how to live.
You're also not committing to anything long term by having one session. Some people come for a handful of sessions around a specific difficulty. Others come for longer. There's no set path, and the pace is something we work out together, based on what's actually useful to you.
How you might feel afterward
It's common to feel a mixture of things once a first session ends. Some people feel a genuine sense of relief, simply from having said things out loud that they've been carrying alone. Others feel tired, or slightly raw, particularly if the conversation touched something they hadn't expected to talk about. Both are normal responses to doing something that takes a bit of courage, and neither means the session went badly.
If you're still not sure
If you're weighing up whether counselling is right for you, or whether I'm the right person to talk to, a full session isn't the only way to find out. I offer a free 20 minute consultation, a lower pressure way to ask questions, get a sense of how I work, and decide from there whether it feels like a good fit, with no obligation to book anything further.